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5 Swinging Tips For The Solo Man

If you're like me, finding partners as a solo man can be incredibly difficult.

Even if you have a 10" cock, chiseled abs, and are black (I'm not any of those), it can still be a challenge to actually meet a couple to play with.

I've been playing with couples for a long time, and while it still is hard for me, here are some tips I've learned over the years swinging as a solo man.

 

1. Couples Don't Need You (Yes, Specifically YOU)

You may not want to think about finding a partner to play with as a negotiation, but that's exactly what it is.

And you have NO LEVERAGE.

Unless you're Brad Pitt or Matt Damon, couples have so many options when it comes to inviting someone into their bed that they don't need you.

They're trying to evaluate who, of the hundreds replies to their ad, is going to fulfill the fantasy they have in their head the best.

Which means you have two goals:

  1. Figure out exactly what that fantasy is

  2. Present to them why you are the best man to help them fulfill it

So how do you do that?

 

2. Put Your Best Foot Forward

Yes this seems obvious, but having placed ads myself, I know how few people write anything more than a sentence or two.

There are a few things your introductory email should include:

  • At least two photos of you (your cock doesn't count)

  • A detailed physical description with your stats (including your age, ethnicity, height, weight, cock info, how hairy you are, etc.)

  • A reply to any specific requests made in the ad

  • Any similar experiences, with examples, that you've had with other couples

  • Your sexual turn ons and turn offs

  • A specific question for them to answer (Usually something like "Have you two done this before or is this your first time?")

A couple is trying to filter out potential partners. Their default answer is going to be NO, so you need to give them a reason to pay attention to you.

That means putting in some effort.

Ultimately your prospective couple is trying to asses the risk of inviting you into their bed and you being able to fulfill their fantasy.

A well thought out response should addresses any fears they might have (Can he perform in bed? Is he a weirdo serial killer? Does he actually look like his photos? Does he have any diseases?).

But there's a good chance they just might not be that attracted to begin with, so good photos are incredibly important.

 

3. Take Better Photos

Every introductory email you send or profile you put together should include the following images:

  1. a rated G photo of you fully clothed including your face (wear sunglasses if you are worried about privacy)

  2. a full body photo with you partially clothed or fully nude (head not necessary).

Notice I did not say a photo of your dick.

You should describe your dick to the couple in your message, including the length, girth (circumference), if you are circumcised or not, and how you groom your pubic hair.

If the couple wants to see a photo and is interested in the rest of your ad, they will let you know.

An ideal cock pic will have three elements:

  1. Your fully erect penis with a ruler, from the base of your cock at the pelvis to the tip, with the length clearly visible on the ruler

  2. Some sort of cylindrical object like a water bottle next to your penis to establish girth (a tailors measuring tape in this situation is good too)

  3. A piece of paper with a screen name or email address to prove your identity

Most couples, but not all, are looking for a penis that is at least 8 inches long.

The reality is not many men are actually 8 inches.

But studies show women prefer girth to length, so if you can show that you are 5 inches around or more, you might have a better chance of piquing their interest in your cock (if that's important to them).

The truth is women get to be more selective on looks than men do.

BUT, that doesn't mean that if you're more average looking you have no chance. It just means your ad response has to do more work.


4. Get Tested

I know, it's scary. Most of us would rather just not know if we're disease free or not, because hey, we feel fine.

But there's no good reason to refrain from getting tested.

If you've been playing safe, you little to be worried about.

Testing is often free and private.

And if you can show that you've got proof that they're free and clear, you might not only be moved up the list, your couple may allow you to have "more fun" than normal.

It's a win-win.

NOTE: Even if you've all tested clean, it's still a good idea to play safe, especially during vaginal and anal sex.

 

5. Be Patient

This goes for everything during the entire process, from initial contact to how you follow-up after you meet.

Remember, sex is better with anticipation, so take your time to get to know each other, answer their questions respectfully and fully, ask your own good questions (not just if she does anal).

It's a good idea to schedule a meet in person in a public neutral place. This is a great way to get to know each other, flirt, and see if there's any real attraction. If they want to play after then great.

You should also use this time to learn what they want to get out of the situation. It's your job to help the fulfill this goal.

Rules and boundaries should be established before you play. This will allow more freedom during play. But if you're not sure ASK!

Afterwards, be sure to send a follow-up message thanking them for the experience and letting them know if you'd like to meet again.

IF they don't respond, send another note in a week, and another in a month.

If there's still no response just leave them alone. It was probably a one-time thing and they just don't know how to tell you.



So there you go.

These are 5 things I wish I had known starting out.

There's obviously more to it than this, but if you follow these tips there's a good chance you'll have a better time finding partners to join.

 

Happy Swinging!

CaptainHammer 08.30.2016 20 1311
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  •  us2here4u: 
     
    We agree with most of this and In our case, the main reason single males tank is the exact same reason couples tank: lack of relevant photos. face, body, cock(pussy). What's so hard about this? She wants to see what you look like naked and in case of a couple, what both people look like. Not just dick pics, not just face pics... not 100 pics of her but none of him. Think about it, how in the world are we ever going to feel comfortable meeting up if we have no clue who you are and what you look like? The whole process could all be so smooth and streamlined by providing a few good relevant pics in the first place. Be creative. Crop out part of your face. Wear sunglasses. Just provide something for people to go on to seriously consider you.
     
     08.24.2019 
    0 points
     
  •  DanDraper: 
     
    Well said CH! I've addressed this issue too on this site. The one thing that you addressed but in other words is the idea that "no means no!" We look in numerous places online for fully bisexual, vers guys. Early on in the conversation, I state very specifically what we want to do with our play buddies. Including m/m anal. Receptive and giving. Many guys show their hand right away by saying, "The only thing I won't do is bottom." To which I respectfully tell them that we probably not looking for the same things.

    The usual response to that is, "But I guess I could try it." That's usually a good sign to me that the guys gonna turn miraculously straight once they get in the bedroom. I have actually asked a few guys to leave our house because they were unwilling to perform the things we discussed in messages.

    We never pressure a guy to do something he's not comfortable with, but that needs to be discussed in detail before it can get weird.

    I've written about this more in the forums section. Would love to get your opinion of my stance on it. Hmu if you ever get down to Colorado springs.
     
     08.19.2019 
    0 points
     
  •  fun2please: 
     
    Thanks Captain! to be clear, there are MANY women and couples that enjoy single men... I am married and have permission to play alone and often do... it is a HUGE turn on for me... I was monogamous our entire marriage and am really enjoying my newfound freedom... finally get to let my hair down and really let go... that said, I DO have feelings and DO enjoy a man to be a gentleman... I KNOW you guys want to fuck and I want to fuck too... but PLEASE don't think that us girls simply want a cock to destroy our pussies... wtf? real sex is NOT like porn guys! us girls want to be treated with kindness and respect... even as we are having sex! so thank you Captain for helping educate the single men that are willing to invest a little time and restraint and they will score more woman than ever! If any of you single men would like to chat more, please write... I would be happy to share my thoughts further... hugs, Freda
     
     09.13.2017 
    0 points
     
  •  Anonymous: 
     
    It just sucks when you do say hi and be respectful no one respond... so is it a race and age thing
     
     09.08.20161 replies1 replies 
    0 points
     
    •  CaptainHammer: 
       
      I wouldn't take it personally. You may just not fit their fantasy or they could have already found what they're looking for. Chances are they're inundated with replies so they're only going to respond to those that interest them most.

      Hi isn't interesting.
       
       09.08.2016 
      0 points
       
  •  macnmiller: 
     
    Cap'n Hammer - Clearly written and easy to understand. Very helpful and will be implementing your advice immediately. It appears that much of a reply can be boiler plate and then modify per the individual post.

    Hey Cap, any chance you also have advice regarding finding the G-spot?
     
     09.01.20161 replies1 replies 
    0 points
     
    •  CaptainHammer: 
       
      Thanks Mac.

      Yes it's called the clitoris. Make out with it like you would Angelina Jole until she cums. Maybe more than once. Then continue with the fucking. ;)
       
       09.01.20161 replies1 replies 
      1 point
       
      •  macnmiller: 
         
        The what?? Where is that located?? kidding...
        So would it be fair to say you do not believe in the g-spot? As much a myth as the spanish fly??
         
         09.01.20161 replies1 replies 
        0 points
         
        •  CaptainHammer: 
           
          I didn't say that. I just think there's a lot more to getting a woman off than pressing some magic button inside their pelvic wall.
           
           09.01.2016 
          0 points
           
1
08.30.2016 (1194 days ago)
1 votes