Post view

Ten kinky things I've caught myself saying to vanilla people

### For a good old laugh because it seems like we need it...

You know those times, where you forget you're around vanillas who don't know about your kinks and certain words slip out. I thought it would be a funny thought to share a couple of them with you guys. Feel free to share your own in the thread.

1. When I see someone adorable: "OH MY GOD!! Don't you want to just put them in a cage and torture him/her?"

2. When my sister talks about how many "girlfriends" my nephew has: "You can never be too young for polyamory."

3. The use of the word "headspace" when I'm talking about my mental state e.g. at uni: "Oh, I was gonna start that assignment last night but i wasn't in the right headspace."

4. At work when a customer on the phone is rude to me: "Boss, I'm calling red on that behaviour".

5. At my physio: Her: "Oh my goodness, are those bruises from me? I'm so sorry." Me: "That's okay, where I come from these are impressive" (Okay, I didn't say that one but I ALMOST did!)

6. Girlfriend sends me a picture of a guy she is dating: "He would look better in a dress/lipstick"

7. My mentor apologising to me about her dog: *dog sniffing and licking my feet* Her "I'm really sorry, my dog has a foot fetish." Me: "That's alright, he's not the first foot fetishist I've come across."

8. When the word "consent" comes up about 50 shades: "Uninformed consent isn't consent". *insert crickets* Blondie, no one knows what you're talking about. Of course contracts are a blanket consent, my mistake.

9. When "Daddy" or "slut" (depending on headspace) slips out of my mouth while Kite and I are in public.

10. There was a time my dad mentioned I should dress one of my dolls like a dominatrix (Weird, I know. I don't know whether he is into kink himself or sussing me out): "Nah dad it will be a waste, her arms are anatomically incorrect. She wont be able to throw a single tail around."

What doozeys have you said recently?

Suicide__Blonde 08.24.2018 6 497
Comments
Order by: 
Per page:
 
  •  denverlatino23: 
     
    When you go to the mon chalet so many times, and then you go swimming to a public pool and you gotta wear swimming clothes.
     
     08.26.2018 
    0 points
     
  •  Suicide__Blonde: 
     
    Love your comments guys :)
     
     08.26.2018 
    0 points
     
  •  James: 
     
    I was talking to a plumbing supply store and said I need a 3 way not a 6 way!! Well both would be fun. He didn’t reply for a bit. Then told me they don’t have that.
     
     08.25.2018 
    0 points
     
  •  Buckaroo68: 
     
    It’s better to be pissed off then pissed on unless you get into that type of thing
     
     08.25.2018 
    0 points
     
  •  MilehighDom: 
     
    When I see somebody smack their shin, elbow, etc and know they're in pain for some reason I blurt out "That looked painful......did if feel like rough sex?"
     
     08.25.2018 
    0 points
     
1
0 votes