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Friends that wont communicate.

Our question is simple. Why would you friend request someone but refuse to communicate with them? We have tons of "friends" that will not return an email. We are here to hopefully meet some people with like views and interests. Please give us some advice on how to meet another real couple.

People are weird.

At least say hello! Right? 

It is very frustrating. Also, you ask to meet and they block you?

We should have a group of people that actually want to participate not just be by standers .

Patience. Also: diversify your methods for meeting people.

Some people don't check this site every day; we personally aren't pulling this site up on our phones every couple of hours, or even every day. If you have standards and don't want to fuck whoever knocks on your door for the novelty of it: it's going to take some time.

When we correspond with people: we actually prefer something more than just "hello," and often won't respond to messages that are one word or one sentence; we definitely don't reply as such; if we're interested: we'll spend some time. If people can't write an actual, thoughtful email: we're not inclined to write back. (This doesn't apply to "Someobscure" though, as they have always written us in multiple complete sentences.)

One reason our "friends" list is so sparse is because we try to limit it to people with whom we have actually communicated.

"Mattstevens1385" says: "It is very frustrating. Also, you ask to meet and they block you?"

Is asking to meet your opening line, single guy? We'd block you too if you opened with that. Not too long ago that was a bannable offense on this site; if you were a single guy soliciting a couple who specifically said in their profile that they were not interested in single men: you would be banned. Maybe spend a little more time reading profiles and asking people about their interests before just asking if they want to meet you? (We're not saying we know for sure you did this, but would not be surprised; it's happened to us a lot.) We've had this kind of experience at parties too, where people think that because you're at the party they can put their hands on you wherever they like without making sure you're into them.

People seem to think that because this is a swingers site that everyone should just be immediately getting naked with everyone else, and that nobody has any right to have lives, schedules, standards and/or preferences outside of fucking strangers. We know it's hard now that everything is loading bars and free 2-day shipping, but there are still some good things which come to those who wait.

If you can't wait: lower your standards.

I understand that being a single man is always difficult on these websites. The old cliche if on bad apple is so true here. 

I like to actually get to know people on here. I think a mental connection enhances ALL ASPECTS of a relationship. 

People in general are awesome and I love to learn about them. I try to be transparent and love when others are. 

Instead if just blocking just say hey we are interested or can't work our schedule is something as oppose to BLOCKED. 

Anyway, thanks a ton for the input. 

I live in the Denver area and travel to the Western Slope, Albuquerque, Pueblo and the Springs so sometimes I send an email asking if they are open for a beer when I am in town and I get crickets. A couple of folks have responded (the correct thing to do) even if it is we can't. 

I actually am looking for more than a hook up (ok sometimes when the juices are flowing I am). 

I hope I was able to explain. Who and what I am 

 

HAVE AN AMAZING DAY

I try to respond to those who I think there may be a connection with, but like Monsantos said it is hard to have the time to respond to everyone especially if we know that we are not attracted to that person or couple. We also get a lot of messages saying “hey we are in town today” or “I am available this afternoon. Let’s play!” Which we most likely won’t respond too because we either don’t see it for a couple of days or more likely we aren’t just going come over and fuck you. People have jobs and lives and most of us are into actually knowing someone before opening up that part of ourselves to someone. 

Swinger sites are no different than real life. You got to know how to deal with rejection and know that you are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea.  This is in no way a dig at anybody in particular. Just a random observation.

I understand all that. Thanks for all of the input

Lowering our standards isn't an option as we cannot be physical with someone we are not physically attracted to. We are not looking for just anybody to have random novelty sex with. We do have high standards. This is real life and we wont find someone physically attractive if they don't take care of themselves. We have been looking for over three years. To say we have been patient is an understatement. Months of emails with people who pretend but never intend to meet. We have driven hours (we live in the mountains) to multiple no shows that disappear after the meet up that never happened. This is after weeks of daily corespondance. Of the few people we have met with they were not who they portrayed themselves to be. Just woke up this morning frustrated. We are trail runners and hikers. We are still hoping to meet others like us doing those things. If you see us on a trail say hi! Still looking forward to the opportunity of making friends with whom we can celebrate life with. Just woke discouraged. We are going to edit our "friends" down to people we believe are genuine and for whom we would like to get to know. Like Bob Dylan says "keep on keeping on".

Someobscure that is really shitty that you drove so long for a no show. The rudeness of some people is just amazing. Definitely enjoy the stuff you have posted and hope you don’t get to discouraged to leave the site. 

I would say just be patient. The right people and time will come. It has happened to all of us I think. I've emailed most of the people I ask to add me, as an introduction. I get a reply with about 1%. 

I am glad this was posted. Like life until you have a chance to understand that people do different things differently there's a good chance of having a misunderstanding .

I apologize if anything I said was taken different than I meant it to be. I just want to understand the proper protocol for a single guy

That happens a lot I just Unfriend them, sometimes we send messages to introduce our self’s and they just ignored our messages and some couples blocked me for no reason. I don’t know why

I've been on here since this was a beta site and I've always been mindful of the couple's perspective of the single male. I've seen a mass majority of people add me and never message or even return messages, almost like they accept friend requests just to raise their friend count...like the old Myspace days. It is frustrating and I empathize with you, it doesn't take much to communicate what's going on with you whether it's that you don't have time to play, lost interest, or whatever the case may be. But as long as you're being mindful and respectful it falls on them in regards to lack of communication. I think if they took the time to add you, they could at least shoot you a small message back. You're not alone on the matter, hang in there. 

I'm new to this site, been on a couple of other similar site for years but never stumbled into this one until today.  For me I friend people who have something about them or their profile that I like because I hope to see their posts in my feed - I don't know if there is a feed on this site like others but it lets me continue to enjoy and/or participate with them regardless of if I want to hook up with them.  I try not to friend people who are strictly "no single men" but if they accept my friend request then so far I have personally written each of them to thank them and say hello because I didn't friend them for the hell of it, I want to communicate.

I have had the same issue with people here. And i just say hello ask how they are doing and nothing back. If you are not interested in talking just say so. I know not many couples are open to males. Thats why i alway ask how they are first. If i get a response great. If not then thats fine too. But i too have been on here for a awhile and have yet to meet anyone. Feel free to chat with me i dont bit, unless u want me too. I find most are to busy and our schedules dont meet up. 

my thing is i work 2 jobs so sometimes I am really busy and have a hard time finding time. I can though but it depends on my availability.

We find this lifestyle mimics real dating in some ways.  It's easy to be attracted by appearance, less easy to be attracted to the person  and less so for all 3 or 4 people to be down.  Once you have that magic combination it's golden.

We thought this would yield friendship benefits  But for various reasons it is usually only about sex.  We've adjusted our expectations accordingly. If we're communicating with you  we're probably down for play. 

Someobscure,

I just want to say that you two are the most polite, honest people I have corresponded with here. I wish more people were as polite as you. You took your time and put true effort messaging me back, for that I applaud you.

I understand that people are busy and have a life outside of this site; however, a simple reply such as "no thank you" only takes a few seconds. 

If some one take the time read your profile and write a thought out message, a simple reply is the polite and adult thing to do.  

The reason I don't have any friends is because the people I communicate with never asked and I never asked them, yet we still talk. The friend count is not something I take into consideration at all when message people.

Now, the people not showing up when you set up a meet is just wrong. People like that should be banned from here. 

I hope things get better, you two deserve that. 

Chive on.

 

We seem to to get a lot of mail where the person is only trying to communicate with the female half, we receive others where people open with “I’d appreciate the opportunity to have the pleasure of banging you” we don’t reply to any of those. Others initially seem cordial but soon ask to trade pics or to skype, also a no from us. We’ve yet to hook up with anyone from this site, the timing and or logistics just aren’t in our favor.

We have met many and everyone has flaked. I want to meet. And yet they all don’t show. We would never treat anyone that way.  Come now and we will treat. Or we will come to you. We have met others on another site and have had fun. I have sent many emails on this site and nothing.  Why? Let’s all get over our hang ups and just enjoy. Drama free works for us. Many say they are drama free and yet they aren’t. Wow. Read this and if you have no fears let’s get together now.

I sent 3 messages out tonight that asked what they were doing on this awesome Saturday night and nothing in response. Not even a fuck you. I can take that, but not even any kind of response. I guess it is easy to see that all show and no go is how you want it. Unbelievable. Just trying to meet people and my friend and I can’t even get a fuck you. I can take a fuck you. I get that but not even a sorry your not our type.? Just wondering.

Always wonder why people refuse to communicate.  We reply to every email, friend request, etc.  Just being courteous - and we often attach a picture even if it’s a polite “thank you, no.”  We’re hopefully all here for a little kinky fun and meeting people.  If you’re strictly a looker, fine, but say that!

This is interesting because we get freind request and little to no messages. We have comtemplated starting over and clearing the list and focus on friends that do communicate. One thing we also find interesting is friend requests where we cannot even see who’s requesting us, we love the beautiful bodies we have seen on here but we need to be able to know who we are connecting with.

I try and reply when I get a chance sometimes I don't get that chance

Something to keep in mind is that not all of us are fully ready yet. We have been watching and trying to decide if we want to fully jump in or not...