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The sad humor of Adult hookup sites

We've been in the lifestyle for awhile now and we have our profiles up on a few adult hookup sites and the one thing that never fails is the humor some of these so-called "studs" who think they are God's gift to women bring to the table when they try to message us.  By humor I mean the way they go about trying to get you to be interested in them.

1. Immediately give out their phone number on the first contact

2. Want to hook up that evening or that day

3. State "My wife doesn't play but I'm allowed to"

4. "I'm in town just for tonight want to fuck?"

5. Puts in their profile they are long/thick...but their pics show they are hung like a hamster

6. Says they are average/athletic....that must have been 50 pounds ago

7. Rambles on incoherently without any kind of spell check or grammar check about how they are the biggest studs of all time

Our block list has probably over 100 people on it by now, really sad that people can't just be honest about who they are and not think they can just jump into your pussy in 30 minutes or less like Domino's.

Totally agreed! We will match your 50 and up it 100.......even more funny are the amount who not only do what you’re accurately describing but fail to read our profile first, where it clearly states that we are only looking to play with a woman. So if you’re a single guy or a guy part of a couple who won’t allow her to play without you being involved, why contact us?? Are they just hoping to get lucky or that we didn’t really mean what we said?

LoL

Hahah yep most guys don't read the profile they just jump straight to "WANNA FUCK NOW?!?!?"

What?! So you're saying

"here is my number, can I do your wive while you watch? I'm available for the next hour, hit me up!!" 

Doesnt work??  Haha!!! 

No doubt! 

Read the damn profile and ads completely! 

And don't come at us like a flat brim gangster man-child. We are adults looking for adult fun with other adults. 

The worst is “hi....(insert dick pic) can we chat?”

eff off!!! I usually just respond with “lol” that’s sends them on their way!!  

 

 

So,  I'm not a guy trying to weasel my way into anything. Everything ya'll have said cracks me up. I am however the Male half of a couple looking for ideally another woman. I'm confused what to say, because obviously we are all here for a reason, but there's still respect.  Is it not ok to ask out first thing? We feel a drink with someone is great, if we like each other great, if not, it was just a drink, hopefully still fun . Opinions? 

If you’re a couple looking for another woman our best advice is this: let the woman do the talking and finding another woman.

How about the usual I have an 8 on 10 inch penis and they don't even have a face pic. Like as soon you hear about the size of the dick you are gonna be all over without a physical attraction.

Like we don't post face pics with the hope that actually someone cares to get to know us and it's not just the fuck.

Or better yet they advertise themselves as "long and thick" and then their pics look like a pencil eraser.

As a single male, I have come to the conclusion it's best to be approached, rather than initiate the interaction. Its tough with so many single guys using this as Tinder. If you don't enjoy converising with the other person\people, the sex won't be very enjoyable anyways. It should be fun, not awkward.

It's not the approach, it's how you approach it...

I agree, however so many couple's are already on the defensive due to the M.O. you described, I seem to have more luck when approached, or maybe I'm just not as charming as I think I am when initiating contact ha ha ha

Be polite, respectful of the woman and don't be vulgar and you'll go a long way :)

It can be tough when you do, in fact, play separately from your spouse. We are in an open marriage, and she has her playmates. I, however, have not been quite as lucky due to the perceptions others have of single males. Some of us can be respectful. I even offer to let them Skype with my wife so they know she is okay with it, to no avail.