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Anything "bone-headed" that you might have been tempted to do. Or did and (in retrospect) wasn't a great idea. Keep in mind "bone-headed" is meant to give this forum a comedic twist. It is not to critique others. Please keep things respectful. An example might be: Do not under any circumstances suggest if he can't find the shorts he likes that perhaps he should buy a skirt. :) Lets the games begin!
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Here is another example just to help get the ball rolling: Never call your Master "Master Cupcake". Don't do it! :) |
Lmao |
Come on all you Masters, Doms, Owners, slave, subs, pets. I know you are out there. We have read the profiles ;) Here is one more example: "When you are about to count out those last three punishment strokes, do not whistle 'It's the Final Countdown' when he asks you how many are left." |
Really? No funny stories? Ok, here's another one of ours... "Don't shout 'ow you bastard' to master when he spanks you!! He doesn't appreciate it at all." |
Lmao!! |
FINE! We have plenty to keep the thread going ourselves for a bit. (wink) Here is another one of ours. Creative bratting at its finest. "When out at the restaurant ... Its not wise to wink at the waiter and say "watch him" while you nod your head subtly towards Master "hes got silverware in his pockets" as you head off for the bathroom" |
Never tell your Master you once had a much beloved chihuahua with his given name, that you had neutered. |
While in the shower, and assuming your Dom is somewhat furry, do NOT shave a racing stripe down the middle of his back to "make him go faster."* |
Never, with Donald Trump gestures tell your Dom "You're Fired" |
Never grab the rope while Sir is tying you up, and challenge him to a tug of war? <giggles> |
The phrase "You wouldn't dare". Might as well wave a red cape at an angry bull. |
lol |
This next one is from a friend of ours: So... Say you are tied up, arms over your head, face to face with (and attached to with nipple clamps) another submissive. There is a Dom and a Lady working the both of you over. If the song "Stuck in the middle with you" comes on, you should NEVER EVER start laughing your ass off. Because, when asked what is so funny, your reply will be singing: "Clowns to the left and jokers to the right and I am stuck in the middle with you." |
When he tells you hes going to use his cane on you...dont reply " cant get around without it old man" and then volunteer to find him a Wheelchair |
When your Dom asks for a "dirty" picture... Do not send him a picture of a pile of dirt. |
If he leans over during a spanking and whispers "Aww, what's the matter, pain tolerance gone?" do not, under ANY circumstances, reply with "Nope, I think your aim's gone"..... |
When playing vanilla at the grocery store with Alpha, NEVER answer the check-out lady's question of "Do you need help out with that?" With the cheeky answer "It's ok I brought 'My Own' help with me." |
NEVER utter the phrase "bad Dom, no Dom biscuit for you!" |
Don't tell your Sir that a good reward would be for him to get on his knees for once and when he obliges call him "Good Kitten". Even jokingly. |
Don't say to your Master "Put down your purse and actually try swinging that thing." |
So who's master? Mr or Mrs? ;) |
Our Master is this little gnome(see picture). All hail Master Gnome! For he is a kinky SOB and a strict Master, if you do not obey he steals your underpants! However he always forgets phase 2! :) |
DO NOT bite master and say "it is just a teeth hug"...The result is him saying during the spanking "I'm just kissing you with my hand!" |
NEVER walk up to Sir and say "wanna play a game?" .. When he responds "ok" Do NOT slap him on the cheek and say "Tag you're it!" then run!!! |
If your Master is not the tallest (meaning he's kinda short :D), and he's talking about when he was a kid, saying "Oh, yeah, a few inches ago?" is inadvisable. |
Never give (even jokingly) your "anatomy instructor" Master a diagram on gspot location. He will consider it an insult and demonstrate how he is fully aware of where your gspot is, along with many other sensitive areas of the body, inside and out. OUCH! And YUM! |
Upon his 35th birthday DO NOT reduce his age by backhanded compliment during a little impromptu toast. *So, Master, today you are 35 and you still look like you're 25. Heaven knows you can fuck like you're 20, but what the hell is it with you acting like you're TEN???* |
How about in the middle of a scene having her tell you, "Batter, Batter, Swing". (Had one tell me this once.)
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Or the one my girl said only once," I am a Princess therefore what I say goes." Granted this was early on in the relationship and she even now asks permission before saying it when telling the story. LOL |
How about one for all the other gamers out there: If your Master is a gamer: During a punishment spanking do not tell him his "DPS" is low. :) |
Never ask D-type that loves cars if there is some kind of Dom "Lemon Law". He will show you a new meaning to the term "push, pull, or drag" |
Never tell your Dom/Master that he looks good in that color pink. When he is entered at the rodeo on tuff enough to wear pink night. |
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If your Dom is a smoker, never re-title him "Sirtokesalot". |
Telling your Dom/ me "Your hand will wear out before my ass does!" - never a good idea |
Adding “Sir” or “Master” to the statement “Fuck that plan!” - will not save you. |
"You can’t spank me! I have a doctors appointment tomorrow."
"I called your mother and told her what you wanted me to do. She said you were adopted." |
Omg funny all of it Luvisallwayshere420 |
