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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.20.2015 · 1 likes ·
Anything "bone-headed" that you might have been tempted to do. Or did and (in retrospect) wasn't a great idea. Keep in mind "bone-headed" is meant to give this forum a comedic twist. It is not to critique others. Please keep things respectful.
An example might be: Do not under any circumstances suggest if he can't find the shorts he likes that perhaps he should buy a skirt. :)
Lets the games begin!
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.20.2015 · 3 likes ·
Here is another example just to help get the ball rolling:
Never call your Master "Master Cupcake". Don't do it! :)
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Dizzydevil99 · Administrator · 38 posts Quote · 11.20.2015 · 4 likes · |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.21.2015 · 3 likes ·
Come on all you Masters, Doms, Owners, slave, subs, pets. I know you are out there. We have read the profiles ;)
Here is one more example:
"When you are about to count out those last three punishment strokes, do not whistle 'It's the Final Countdown' when he asks you how many are left."
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.23.2015 · 1 likes · Really? No funny stories? Ok, here's another one of ours... "Don't shout 'ow you bastard' to master when he spanks you!! He doesn't appreciate it at all." |
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Dizzydevil99 · Administrator · 38 posts Quote · 11.23.2015 · 1 likes · |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.25.2015 · 2 likes ·
FINE! We have plenty to keep the thread going ourselves for a bit. (wink)
Here is another one of ours. Creative bratting at its finest.
"When out at the restaurant ... Its not wise to wink at the waiter and say "watch him" while you nod your head subtly towards Master "hes got silverware in his pockets" as you head off for the bathroom"
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.25.2015 · 1 likes · Never tell your Master you once had a much beloved chihuahua with his given name, that you had neutered. |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.25.2015 · 2 likes · While in the shower, and assuming your Dom is somewhat furry, do NOT shave a racing stripe down the middle of his back to "make him go faster."* |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.26.2015 · 1 likes · Never, with Donald Trump gestures tell your Dom "You're Fired" |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.27.2015 · 3 likes · Never grab the rope while Sir is tying you up, and challenge him to a tug of war? <giggles> |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.27.2015 · 2 likes · The phrase "You wouldn't dare". Might as well wave a red cape at an angry bull. |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.29.2015 · 0 likes · |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.29.2015 · 4 likes ·
This next one is from a friend of ours:
So... Say you are tied up, arms over your head, face to face with (and attached to with nipple clamps) another submissive.
There is a Dom and a Lady working the both of you over. If the song "Stuck in the middle with you" comes on, you should NEVER EVER start laughing your ass off.
Because, when asked what is so funny, your reply will be singing: "Clowns to the left and jokers to the right and I am stuck in the middle with you."
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.29.2015 · 0 likes · When he tells you hes going to use his cane on you...dont reply " cant get around without it old man" and then volunteer to find him a Wheelchair |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 11.30.2015 · 3 likes · When your Dom asks for a "dirty" picture... Do not send him a picture of a pile of dirt. |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.01.2015 · 1 likes · If he leans over during a spanking and whispers "Aww, what's the matter, pain tolerance gone?" do not, under ANY circumstances, reply with "Nope, I think your aim's gone"..... |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.01.2015 · 1 likes · When playing vanilla at the grocery store with Alpha, NEVER answer the check-out lady's question of "Do you need help out with that?" With the cheeky answer "It's ok I brought 'My Own' help with me." |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.01.2015 · 1 likes · NEVER utter the phrase "bad Dom, no Dom biscuit for you!" |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.02.2015 · 1 likes · Don't tell your Sir that a good reward would be for him to get on his knees for once and when he obliges call him "Good Kitten". Even jokingly. |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.03.2015 · 1 likes · Don't say to your Master "Put down your purse and actually try swinging that thing." |
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Dizzydevil99 · Administrator · 38 posts Quote · 12.03.2015 · 2 likes · So who's master? Mr or Mrs? ;) |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.04.2015 · 1 likes ·
Our Master is this little gnome(see picture). All hail Master Gnome! For he is a kinky SOB and a strict Master, if you do not obey he steals your underpants!
However he always forgets phase 2! :)
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.04.2015 · 1 likes · DO NOT bite master and say "it is just a teeth hug"...The result is him saying during the spanking "I'm just kissing you with my hand!" |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.05.2015 · 3 likes · NEVER walk up to Sir and say "wanna play a game?" .. When he responds "ok" Do NOT slap him on the cheek and say "Tag you're it!" then run!!! |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.07.2015 · 1 likes · If your Master is not the tallest (meaning he's kinda short :D), and he's talking about when he was a kid, saying "Oh, yeah, a few inches ago?" is inadvisable. |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.10.2015 · 1 likes ·
Never give (even jokingly) your "anatomy instructor" Master a diagram on gspot location. He will consider it an insult and demonstrate how he is fully aware of where your gspot is, along with many other sensitive areas of the body, inside and out. OUCH! And YUM!
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.24.2015 · 1 likes · Upon his 35th birthday DO NOT reduce his age by backhanded compliment during a little impromptu toast. *So, Master, today you are 35 and you still look like you're 25. Heaven knows you can fuck like you're 20, but what the hell is it with you acting like you're TEN???* |
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mscoupleformore · Member · 2 posts Quote · 01.09.2016 · 1 likes ·
How about in the middle of a scene having her tell you, "Batter, Batter, Swing". (Had one tell me this once.)
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mscoupleformore · Member · 2 posts Quote · 01.09.2016 · 1 likes · Or the one my girl said only once," I am a Princess therefore what I say goes." Granted this was early on in the relationship and she even now asks permission before saying it when telling the story. LOL |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 01.09.2016 · 0 likes ·
How about one for all the other gamers out there:
If your Master is a gamer: During a punishment spanking do not tell him his "DPS" is low. :)
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 03.11.2016 · 0 likes · Never ask D-type that loves cars if there is some kind of Dom "Lemon Law". He will show you a new meaning to the term "push, pull, or drag" |
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Anonymous · Undefined · 0 posts Quote · 03.25.2016 · 1 likes · Never tell your Dom/Master that he looks good in that color pink. When he is entered at the rodeo on tuff enough to wear pink night. |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 09.12.2016 · 1 likes · |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 12.02.2016 · 1 likes · If your Dom is a smoker, never re-title him "Sirtokesalot". |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 10.26.2017 · 0 likes · Telling your Dom/ me "Your hand will wear out before my ass does!" - never a good idea
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 10.26.2017 · 0 likes · Adding “Sir” or “Master” to the statement “Fuck that plan!” - will not save you. |
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Deuce · Member · 255 posts Quote · 02.21.2018 · 0 likes ·

"You can’t spank me! I have a doctors appointment tomorrow."
"I called your mother and told her what you wanted me to do. She said you were adopted."
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luvishere11 · Member · 17 posts Quote · 02.21.2018 · 1 likes · Luvisallwayshere420 |
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